John was driving me to the hospital and halfway there he took a wrong turning which was so unlike him. He didn't seem too well so I said to pull over and I would drive. No definite obvious problem but I felt there was something not quite right so after the hospital visit I drove to the drs surgery. The doc said that as John had an apt at the memory clinic for a week later , leave til then. By then John had become a little bit disorientated but she said not to worry. The following morning he hadn't improved so I rang the docs and said I was concerned but again she said not to worry but that maybe she would get the hospital to arrange a brain scan for when John had his apt the following week. Whilst I was looking after John my dad called the hospital and they eventually agreed to do the scan the following day. After the brain scan they asked us to wait til the neurosurgeon could check it and that is when we found out that John had had a pretty bad brain haemorrhage - fortunately there was no paralysis and after that he had a checkup 3 months later where they said they didn't need to see John again. I have kicked myself so many times for not taking John straight to A&E but when a doctor tells you not to worry , that's what you tend to do as they know best!! John and I were so pleased that it seemed like a one off 'blip' and although John had lost part of his brain function , he was generally ok in health and so life went on with very few restrictions It was a horrendous and very worrying time but we got through it. Little did we know!!! I loved caring for John as I felt so needed - now John is gone , who NEEDS me??? Maybe that is why I feel so useless! Love and miss you my brave man! xxxxxxxxxx