John , I really need you right now. I am having a complete meltdown and cannot stop crying - I so desperately want you now as I feel I am in very dark hole and can't get out. Come back to me and cuddle me for just 5 minutes PLEASE. I hate my lonely life - I hate living alone - I hate not being able to do all the things we should be doing - I hate ME!! I LOVE US and with no US things seem so worthless. Come get me With all my love to my darling John xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx