Hello my lovely John, Not having a very good day today. I woke up feeling so sad and nothing seems to be able to shake me out of it. Going back to see the doc and ask about the anti-d's as not feeling 'right'.The things on tv that would always make me shed a tear are having no effect on me at all - feels like most of my emotions have been switched off and I am in autopilot. It even suppresses my thoughts about you which I don't want to do altho I wouldn't be able to cope if I went back to how I was before I started taking them. I still desperately want and need to dream about you and feel you around me as everyone says I should. What am I doing wrong???. I have to try to do something useful and so want to be needed again. Loving you as much as I ever did John (how lucky we were to have found each other and had so many wonderful years of happiness and love - that is the one saving grace in all this but also that is what makes it so much worse losing you) Sleep tight. xxxxxxx